​5 Things to Do When Healthy Resolutions Fail

You know how it goes. You get all revved up to cut out red meat, but then you see that rib eyes are on sale for next to nothing. Or, you swear that you're going to start working out the recommended five times a week, but there's always something to hold you back — you're too tired, you forgot your gym clothes, you have a paper cut and don't want to get sweat in it.

Blowing off your resolutions only serves to cripple you with guilt and stir up feelings of worthlessness. Why am I so lazy? Why do I hate working out so much? Why can't I stop eating Milk Duds by the pound every night? Am I really that weak? I'm such a failure!

Hey, now. Stop that right this instant. Next time you get all fired up to lose weight or cut out unhealthy fat or spend more time with your kids or floss your teeth every night or do whatever you feel you need to do in order to improve your life, set yourself up for success from the get-go.

1. Dig deep and write it all down. Maybe your resolutions fail because you're afraid of success — who will I be if I'm a size 6? What will I do with my hands if I don't smoke? Or, maybe they fail because you're afraid of feeling uncomfortable. Get out some paper and make a list of the reasons why you want to succeed at the resolution. Then write down all your fears about it, and try to get to the bottom of each one. Decide whether the fear is reasonable, and write down some things you can do to make taking on the resolution easier. For example, maybe you fear committing to working out because you hate working out and find it boring. No problem: skip the resolution that says you'll hit the gym every day and instead go for a walk, roller skate, weed the garden, or have a swim. Mop the floor, dance to your favorite song, take your kids to the zoo. Change your thinking: Does a workout really have to involve a perky instructor or a treadmill? Heck no, it doesn't.
2. Ease up, bossy-pants. The bigger and more complex your resolution is, the more overwhelming it will seem, especially if you're starting from scratch. The anxiety about failing and the negative way you treat yourself when you screw up will likely create a self-fulfilling prophesy. So, divide your large goal into smaller, more manageable ones. Instead of deciding that you're going to work out for an hour five days a week, decide that you're going to go for more walks. Trust that those walks are going to make you feel so good that they'll blossom into something bigger naturally, without your bossy self, bossing you around and getting all control-freaky about the frequency and intensity of working out.
3. Pair up with a buddy. A good friend can offer encouragement, ask you how it's going, give you some advice, serve as a workout partner, or help to hold you accountable by texting you each night and asking how many Milk Duds you've eaten so far. Working with a buddy who's aiming toward similar goals — quitting smoking, eating healthier food — can offer you both an extra layer of accountability and ease feelings of isolation.
4. Let old habits die. Think of your resolutions as the process of letting old habits die — the habit of lying on the couch for hours on end each evening, the habit of eating French fries on your commute home from work — and the way to kill old habits is to replace them with better habits. Figure out exactly how what you're going to replace the bad habit with. If you resolve to cut fast food out of your diet, take a different route home so you don't pass your favorite burger joint, and snack on grapes instead. Eventually, your new behavior will become your new normal.
5. Shake it up. When the things around you stay static, you'll likely feel less motivated to change. Shake up your environment so that you have a visual reminder that you're supposed to do things differently. Fill your cupboards with healthy snacks. Rearrange the TV room so that the couch is no longer the best seat in the house. Clean out your closet and leave your "skinny" clothes front and center. Throw away all your lighters and ashtrays, and wash all your clothes to get the stale, smoky smell out of them. "Shake it up, break it into a million pieces, and don't put it back together again."